Given that I’ve weighed in on “nerd culture” and some of the social pressures that influence women’s relationships to this culture, I had to pass this on:
The New York Daily News ran an article extolling the advantages of nerds as lovers. It’s pretty much the dreck you’d expect. Of course, the nerds in question are all male (because, female nerds?!). Also, it’s not obvious to me that real nerd culture would embrace the nerd exemplars discussed in the story as bona fide nerds. Tiger Woods? Adam Brody? David Arquette? We’re not really talking the pocket-protector set (nor even the, “Quick, what’s the one true programming language?” set).
But, Amanda at Pandagon has fed the article to the Regender engine with delightful results. Some of my favorite regendered passages:
“My ex and I bonded over ‘Star Trek,’ and on our first date at an amusement park, my current girlfriend impressed me with her intricate understanding of the physics of roller coasters. She’s a mechanical engineer.”
For a modern boy who is far from ditzy, the geek could be the mate who brings security and a load of eclectic interests to the relationship.
Also:
But to get to that authentic nerd, chic men have to be willing to embrace their own inner geek and accept the gal for who she is, chess trophies and all. The caveat to mating with a geek, as some dating experts see it, is coming to terms with her less-than-studly looks and less-than-suave demeanor. All thoughts of embarrassment have to go out the window.
Andrew Lavinthal, who co-authored (with Jesse Rozler) “The Hookup Handbook,” a young man’s guide to navigating the waters of singlehood, says that being sure of your choice of gal is first and foremost.
“Boys tend to worry about what their friends are going to think,” he said, “and you have to get over it. You can’t always be making excuses and apologies. Give her the respect she deserves, and don’t always be assuming you’re better than her.”
He also said that not all boys are ready for a full-on geek relationship right from the start. His book has a chapter devoted to “The Snufalufagus Hookup,” the one that every boy wishes his friends didn’t know about, and that he at first tries to deny happened. “In many ways, it’s the first foray into the nerdy gal thing,” Lavinthal said. “You’re attracted to her because she doesn’t screw around. Sure, it’s fun to make out with the hot bartender, but you’re not going to marry her.”
Speaks for itself, doesn’t it?
“on our first date at an amusement park, my current girlfriend impressed me with her intricate understanding of the physics of roller coasters. She’s a mechanical engineer. For a modern boy who is far from ditzy, the geek could be the mate who brings security and a load of eclectic interests to the relationship.”
Sounds good to me! If only a female nerd was interested in me…all the ones I know are married. Quality gets snapped up fast.
“all the ones I know are married. Quality gets snapped up fast.”
Hey, back when I was hanging out with a geek/hacker crowd, I remember several cases of polyandry. [Whither Mamaliz? It’s been a long time….] Usually it was just triples rather than “male harems”, but some of those were *very* long-term relationships.
One of my favorite memories is of an afternoon I spent with a woman who was both a Star Trek geek and roller-coaster enthusiast. She had every episode taped, and unlike most Star Trek geeks, she could talk about the story lines and the structure of that universe in way that was interesting, rather than annoying. She also gave a good lecture about the mechanics and the construction of roller coasters. I don’t know if she became a mechanical engineer, however. (we were in our late teens, and she had no idea what she was going to study in college.)
Science chicks are hot. It’s so rare to meet a girl who is as intellectually passionate and curious about science… and if a woman’s actually a scientist? I get weak in the knees. What can I say? I’m like a science groupie.
Wasn’t there some feminist (Friedan?) in the 1960s who argued that women were the prisoners of being “well rounded” in that they were expected to be Jills of all trades, but masters of none? Being a nerd, and making a good living, often require punting a few things and getting really good at something. This didn’t just keep women out of the sciences, but out of every demanding field, except for a few sex stereotyped ones, where women were allowed to sacrifice being well rounded for being excellent at something.