I used to think what I really needed this time of semester was elves.
When the term papers and final exams and case studies and research reports were in their stacks on my desk, casting shadows on my prospects of getting any other substantial projects done, I’d think, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could just leave these papers on my desk with a box of red pens, and have elves come at night and grade them? It would be like a fairy tale …”
But seriously, knowing fairy-tale elves, there would be some trick. Sure, they’d grade the papers, but then they’d take my tenure dossier until I could guess the proper pronunciation of some French philosopher-elf’s name. Or, more likely, they’d just make shoes out of the papers instead of grading them.
I’m ready to deal with a different class of elves. Keebler elves, to be precise. They wouldn’t grade my papers, but at least they’d leave me some cookies.
“Keebler elves”?
That one had me scratching my head for awhile…but Wikipedia came to rescue:
Ah! Sweet. And clearly not Terry Pratchett’s Discworld elves (from Lords and Ladies). Unless them cookies are a trap! You’ve been warned…
Edward Leamer says he likewise attempted outsourcing his work, but it required rework.
Being an economist, natch, he turned to the magic elves he was familiar with, but found them not meeting his standards.
…but then they’d take my tenure dossier until I could guess the proper pronunciation of some French philosopher-elf’s name.
Yeah, that Rousseaustiltskin’s a tricky one.
I take it the pixie and the sprite have proven to be more distractions than help in this matter.