I’ve become aware that discussions, both heated and measured, are raging in other parts of the blogosphere about the collisions between drug law, educational initiatives, and governmental agencies responsible for looking out for the welfare of children (e.g., see here, here, and here.) At the moment, looking at hundreds of papers to grade, a soccer game to coach, and a bunch of other tasks that will be significantly harder to complete (but that must be completed within the next few days), I am not jumping into that fray.
However, it did put me in mind of some of the ways our parenting has interacted with the elementary school’s programing, including Red Ribbon Week, an anti-drug educational initiative that generally falls shortly before Halloween (and, coincidentally, that often coincides with National Chemistry Week. Four years ago, when both Free-Ride offspring were in the lower grades, celebrating Red Ribbon Week mostly amounted to wearing sunglasses or crazy socks or whatever that day’s Red Ribbon “theme” called for. But there was also a wee bit of discussion in the classroom about drugs. As originally reported in this post, the Free-Ride parents decided to see what the sprogs had learned:
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: So what did you guys learn from Red Ribbon Week?
Younger offspring: We shouldn’t take drugs.
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: What’s a drug?
Elder offspring: Tobacco’s a drug.
Younger offspring: Yeah, tobacco can hurt your lungs and your heart.
Dr. Free-Ride: Sure, tobacco is one example of a drug. But are all drugs like tobacco?
Elder offspring: Is our toothpaste a drug?
Younger offspring: Huh?
Elder offspring: There’s a label on the toothpaste tube that says “Drug Facts”.
Dr. Free-Ride: I guess that means they’re counting the fluoride in the toothpaste as a drug. What about when one of you gets sick with a fever?
Elder offspring: The fever medicine is a drug.
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: Saying no to drugs doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the medicine we or the doctor give you when you’re sick, does it?
Elder offspring: No.
Dr. Free-Ride: So does “drug” mean something like a chemical that will have some kind of effect on your body?
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: Hmmm….
Dr. Free-Ride: Because some of those effects can be good — like reducing a fever — and other effects can be bad — like hurting your lungs.
Elder offspring: Lice shampoo also has a “Drug Facts” label.
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: Should that really count as a drug? You’re not ingesting it, you’re using it to poison the lice — so it’s not affecting your physiology, but the louse’s.
Dr. Free-Ride: Dude, I didn’t make the labeling rules.
Elder offspring: Coffee!
Dr. Free-Ride: That’s right, coffee has caffeine, and caffeine is a drug.
Elder offspring: Chocolate also contains caffeine.
Younger offspring: (Horrified) You mean when I eat chocolate I’m eating drugs?!
Dr. Free-Ride: Yes, but we make sure you don’t eat so much that it would hurt you.
Dr. Free-Ride’s better half: If it would make you feel better, you can say no to chocolate.
Younger offspring: No. As long as you say I can have chocolate, that’s alright.
You mean when I eat chocolate I’m eating drugs?!
Hilarious.
I remember being very confused about Drug Stores. I would say, if drugs are bad, why is there a drug store on every corner?
Duuuuuuuuude. This Toblerone is excellent s—.
I appreciate your post, but it really sounds as if the grade-schoolers in your discussion were a little older.
My kindergartener just went through this and has been quite traumatized by what he saw and was told in Red Ribbon Week this week. He’s convinced that coffee, pop, cigarettes, and sugar all lead to imminent death! He came to me, bawling, saying that he was afraid his daddy was going to die. He told me that they said that one of the teachers said that her “daddy died from drinking too much pop.” My son actually even showed me what these “drugs” do by modelling a dead person on the floor. That kind of imagery is just a tad bit disturbing, coming from an emotionally sensitive, sweet 5 yr old.
Talking about “saying NO!” and staying away from illicit drugs is one thing. Encouraging children to avoid strangers offering candy or drugs is also a good thing.
Equating common ingestibles with illicit drugs with children who aren’t even remotely old enough to understand the difference is just irresponsible and disgusting. This subject is way too complex for kindergarteners and a little out-of-bounds for educators. Reinforce the healthy. That’s the educator’s job.
When I was little, I was confused by the phrase “drinking and driving”. It resulted in at least one (now embarrassing) incident where I thought I was endangered because one of my parents opened a soda in the car.
Oh deary me, now I’m recollecting my own similar conflation of “drinking and driving” situations.
I mean, if you’ve got a big gulp in your hands, they’re not on the steering wheel — it’s arguably worth warning against!