Dispatch from #scio13: Tweet me maybe?

So, last night at ScienceOnline there was an Open Mic Night, masterfully MC’d by Jacquelyn Gill and David Schiffman. There was a lot of talent on display, but also initial issues with the sound at the venue. (Scott Huler and Brian Malow were the committed empiricists who figured the issue out … it turned out something was plugged into the wrong hole. (Insert gratuitous punchline here.)) The evening culminated with a inspiring dance lesson from John Rennie, who is without a doubt the science journalist you want to teach you how to dance.

Anyway, as conveyed on the Twitters, I made the (almost surely ill-advised) decision to get up and sing at Open Mic Night. While I am pleased (and relieved) to report that I didn’t end up in the Shatner zone in the chorus, a sound engineering issue meant that I lost half of my first verse. So, here are the lyrics to my song about social media, set to a possibly recognizable tune. (If you don’t mind, imagine me singing it in tune.)

I threw a post on my wall,
Only been blogging since Fall,
Your “like” pleased me most of all,
And now you’re in my feed

I’d trade my soul for a link,
I’d kill to hear what you think,
I’d even write you with ink
‘Cause now you’re who I read

FriendFeed was slogging,
Tumblrs were reblogging,
G+ hangouts, I’m no quitter,
Mention me on Twitter, baby?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my handle,
So tweet me, maybe?

It’s hard to match your
Traffic baby,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my handle,
So tweet, maybe?

And all the other blogs,
Try to shake me,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

My comment got voted down,
Emoticon was a frown
You took my logic to town,
But still, you’re in my feed

I didn’t give up the ghost,
Redeemed myself the next post,
Got linklove, I shouldn’t boast,
But it’s what I need.

Bora Z retweeted,
Ed Yong said to read it,
SiteMeter ebb and flowing,
Holy crap I’m linked on BoingBoing!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my handle,
So tweet me, maybe?

It’s hard to match your
Traffic baby,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my handle,
So tweet, maybe?

And all the other blogs,
Try to shake me,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

Before this ScienceOnline
My stats were so bad
My stats were so bad
My stats were so, so bad

Before this ScienceOnline
My stats were so bad
And you should know that
My stats were so, so bad

It’s hard to match your
Traffic baby,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my handle,
So tweet, maybe?

And all the other blogs,
Try to shake me,
But here’s my hashtag,
Retweet me, maybe?

Before this ScienceOnline
My stats were so bad
My stats were so bad
My stats were so, so bad

Before this ScienceOnline
My stats were so bad
And you should know that

So tweet me, maybe?