The elder Free-Ride offspring has been spending enough time with Snowflake Free-Ride to have become something of a “rabbit whisperer”. Snowflake herself seems preternaturally aware of when the elder sprog is in range, not to mention very assertive that the in-range sprog must have an audience with Her Royal Fuzziness.

So, it’s working out well for both of them at the moment.

We’ve been talking with the elder Free-Ride offspring about the extent to which Snowflake’s behaviors are being shaped by her interaction with the elder sprog. After one of these discussions, the elder Free-Ride offspring jotted down the following behavioral notes:

Normal:

• Eats poo.
• Shakes herself when I stop petting her.
• Grooms herself when I’m not watching.
• Very calm when I pet her.

Social:

• Gnawing at the bars of her run to get to me.

Dr. Free-Ride: What did you mean by normal behaviors?

Elder offspring: Stuff that she probably would have done even if I hadn’t come into her life.

Dr. Free-Ride: How do you know know she grooms herself when you’re not looking?

Elder offspring: Because she grooms herself when she thinks I’m not looking, then stops abruptly when she senses my presence.

Dr. Free-Ride: You didn’t include anything about her nighttime routine (or her morning routine).

Elder offspring: I don’t think that really counts, because I’ve trained her to hop into her hutch for some carrots at night so I can lock her in.

Dr. Free-Ride: So the fact that you’ve trained her make it your behavior, not hers?

Elder offspring: It’s the behavior that I’ve trained her to exhibit. I also trained her to use the paw to push open the hutch door when I unlatch it in the morning.

Dr. Free-Ride: I know you’ve been trying to train her to exhibit some other behavior, and sometimes she has her own ideas about what behavior to exhibit.

Elder offspring: I’ve been trying to train her to come out of the run and sit on my lap for noms and pats. So far, she usually just puts two paws on my lap, then goes back into the run. And when I use carrot sticks instead of whole carrots, she steals them and goes back into the run to eat them.

Dr. Free-Ride: Why do you think she’s resistant to being a lap bunny?

Elder offspring: Maybe she’s still a little afraid of the outside. Maybe she doesn’t want to be a lap bunny.

Dr. Free-Ride: Has Snowflake trained you to do anything?

Elder offspring: Other than giving her carrots and pats, I don’t think so.

Outside of a rabbit, a book is a sprog’s best friend. Inside of a rabbit, it’s too dark to read.*

The elder Free-Ride offspring has been spending the majority of free moments with Snowflake Free-Ride, a New Zealand White rabbit. Today, the elder Free-Ride offspring presented me with a sketch of Snowflake, labeled with her parts:

Do you get the feeling that the elder Free-Ride offspring has observed this rabbit from many angles?

Coming and going?

Yeah, me too.

Dr. Free-Ride: Do you have any interest in drawing the internal anatomy of a rabbit.

Elder offspring: (with a look of disbelief) No.

Dr. Free-Ride: I didn’t mean of Snowflake’s internal anatomy!

Elder offspring: OK.

Dr. Free-Ride: I mean, I think you might find it fascinating. We could probably find some rabbit anatomical diagrams online.

Elder offspring: I just ate a quesadilla twenty minutes ago. Maybe after school.

_______
*Clearly, I’m ripping off Groucho Marx here, although he said it with a dog and a man. (And with glasses and a mustache, neither of which I am sporting at the moment.)

Dr. Free-Ride: What was it we were going to talk about today?
Elder offspring: The axolotl.
Dr. Free-Ride: Can you please spell that?
Elder offspring: A-X-O-L-O- … wait. A-X-O-T-O-L. Wait! A-X-O-L-O-T-O-L. I think.
Dr. Free-Ride: Hmm. I shall do some checking on the spelling. And what is it?
Elder offspring: It’s a salamander that has achieved eternal youth!

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This week, the Free-Ride family welcomed a new member.

Snowflake Free-Ride (who also goes by Notorious B.U.N.) is a 9-month old New Zealand White rabbit who we adopted on Tuesday. She is cute, fluffy, and big (nearly 5 kg). And, she seems to be adjusting to life at Casa Free-Ride.

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Despite the crush of the closing weeks of the semester, I found a little time to follow the conversation about whether Earthicans ought to welcome a meeting with whatever extraterrestrial life might be out there to meet us, or whether we’d be better off hiding under the bed.
Although the Free-Ride offspring have not followed the point and counterpoint on the best alien life action plan, they’re generally more enthusiastic futurists than I am. So, I asked them to dig deep into their imaginations and give us their visions of first contact.
It should surprise no one that the elder and younger Free-Ride offspring have very different visions of this event.
Before they started drawing, they brainstormed a bit about what forms extraterrestrial life might take. Maybe you’d find your classic Star Trek humanoids, or comic book little green men. But why couldn’t alien life be mostly plants, or fungi?
Maybe we’ll be negotiating intergalactic treaties with microbes? (I’m thinking people might be less cavalier about skipping vaccinations if that’s how things play out.)
In any case, here are the pictures of first contact they came up with.

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